Naruto Shrek Style!
by Blazenix
Summary: Sasuke is a demon who lives on his own, until Lord Mizuki makes a degree to evict all magical creature, Sasuke has to rescue the Princess Naruto to get back his home, but what happens when he falls in love with the princess? NOT NARUFEM NO FLAMES
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!

* * *

**

_**Once upon time in a far away land there lived a beautiful princess, but the princess had a terrible curse, so the Princess was locked in a tower guarded by a ferocious beast, then one day a handsome prince came along and rescued the lovely Princess, they married and lived happily ever after...**_

Sasuke snorted while he read this.

"Like that's ever going to happen!"

His voice could be heard outside of the outside toilet.

"What a load of--" the toilet flushing drowned out the rest of his voice.

Sasuke stretched his arms as he headed for his morning shower.

Sasuke's black tail wagged back and forth in pleasure as warm water soaked his skin, he scrubbed his hair getting rid of anything dirt he developed living in the swamp.

After his morning shower, Sasuke jumped into the lake catching his breakfast fish.

He smiled slightly as he caught a fish in between his mouth, his life felt so perfect.

He wandered into his cave past the signs he made himself, **Keep Out!**, or, **Beware the Wolf Demon!**

One night as Sasuke sat down to eat his dinner, he heard rustling outside his house. His eyes narrowed in suspicion.

A group of villagers watched and leered at Sasuke's house, they had completely ignored the signs and warnings to come to capture Sasuke the Sharigan wolf Demon.

"The wolf demon is inside..." one of them said.

"Great let's get it!" one of them yelled eagerly rushing forward to Sasuke's house, until one of them stopped him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa you know what that thing will do to you!" one of the villagers tried to reason with him.

"Yeah...he'll grind your bones to make his bread!" one of the villagers joked.

All of the laughed but their eyes widened as they heard another laugh from behind them, they spun around and stared in horror at the wolf demon they had been stalking.

Sasuke chuckled showing off his white sharp teeth, his red eyes glowing brightly in the darkness.

"Well actually that's giants...now demons they're much worse they'd...make suits of your skin they'd shave your livers!"

"No!" one villagers gasped in horror.

"Eat the jelly from your eyes! Actually that tastes good on toast..." Sasuke said thoughtfully.

One of the villagers waved his torches in front of Sasuke's face.

"Back beast! Back! I warn ya!!" he yelled.

Sasuke raised an elegant eyebrow, he took a deep breath and roasted the torch turning it into a splinter, and the villager stared at the black splinter he tossed it aside and grinned sheepishly.

Sasuke breathed in deeply once more and let out a fearsome roar, while the villagers hugged each other screaming. Sasuke smirked and stopped roaring while the villagers kept screaming when they finally stopped he leaned in close.

"This is the part when you run away..." he said in a hushed voice.

"RUNAWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried the villagers running away for their very lives.

"Hn, cowards," Sasuke muttered until he noticed a poster on the ground.

"Reward for mystical creatures...tch." Sasuke muttered throwing it on the ground.

* * *

A line of mystical creatures being shackled together then put into cages and shoved into carriages. One annoyed guard lead a line of seven dwarfs with bushy eyebrows and buggy eyes inside a carriage, they were all shackled together and they sang.

_**'Oh woe are we...this monstrosity...takes our youthful spree...'**_

Some people were lining up to hand in mystical creatures they've found, but one particular boy was not too happy about this.

"Mom, please don't hand Akamaru in! Please!" begged Kiba.

His mother, Tsume, looked down on her son, a small white dog in her arm.

A man with a painted face placed a wooden red haired puppet named Sasori onto the desk.

"I have a living wooden puppet!" the man named Kankuro exclaimed.

"I'm not a puppet I'm a real boy!" exclaimed Sasori suddenly his nose grew longer.

"That's five shillings for the possessed toy," said the head guard giving Kankuro his money.

"Don't let him do this! Help me!" pleaded Sasori as the guards took him away.

"Kiba I'm sorry...but we can't afford him! Besides he's so bloody annoying!! He talks so much!!!" Tsume said angrily.

Akamaru looked up at Tsume.

"Give me another chance!! Please! Please! I promise not to talk so much! Oh please give me another chance!!" Tsume begged her.

"Oh shut up!" Tsume snapped.

"Next!" said the guard writing down some business, Tsume stepped up to the desk, with Kiba trailing behind her.

"What have you got?" the guard asked in a bored tone.

Tsume cleared her throat.

"Well I've got a talking dog!" she exclaimed.

"That's worth ten shillings...if you can prove it..."

Tsume chuckled nervously and set Akamaru on the guard's desk.

"Go ahead little guy..." Tsume said in a sugarcoated tone.

Akamaru stared up at Tsume and waggled his head in confusion, the guard gave a unbelieving look to Tsume, she chuckled nervously again, Kiba smiled realizing Akamaru's trick.

"I don't understand it he's usually quite a chatterbox!" Tsume said.

She grabbed Akamaru's chin and moved his mouth, and spoke at the side of her mouth.

"I can talk! I love to talk! I'm the talkiest damn thing you ever saw!"

The guard glared at her.

"Get her out of my sight!" he ordered the guards.

Some guards got behind Tsume grabbed her arms and pinned them behind her back, she then began kicking and screaming.

"It's true I swear he can talk! He can talk!"

Tsume accidentally kicked a cage with a pixie inside, it went flying and it knocked the side of Akamaru's head. Akamaru suddenly glowed, sparkled gold, and began it hover above the ground.

"Hey...I can fly!" yelled Akamaru.

"He can fly!" yelled one boy, named Peter Pan.

"He can fly!" cheered three pigs with red swirls on their cheeks.

"He can talk!" exclaimed the guard getting up from behind his desk.

"That's right you! I'm a flying talking dog! Haha!" barked Akamaru.

Akamaru waggled his legs forward towards Kiba, then the golden glow around him began to dim.

"Uh...oh..." muttered Akamaru as he flopped down to the ground, the guards began moving towards him.

"Akamaru! Here!" called Kiba patting his knees for Akamaru to come over towards him, Akamaru ran to Kiba and jumped inside his jacket.

"Get him!" yelled the guard running towards Kiba, Tsume fell to the ground as the guards dropped her and chased Kiba.

Kiba rushed inside the forest the guards not far behind, Kiba panted then let out a soft "Oof!" as he bumped into a hard chest.

Kiba looked up and saw a wolf demon staring back at him a scowl graced his features, Kiba started to back away slightly then the guards caught up with him.

"You there, Demon!" cried the head guard.

"Yes?" Sasuke asked turning his attention to the head guard.

The head guard cleared his throat.

"Um...on the degree of Lord Mizuki...all mystical creature must remove themselves from the kingdom immediately...or...be...forced...off...the property..." explained the head guard reading from a scroll, but losing his courage as Sasuke neared him.

Sasuke smirked "Oh really? You and what army?"

The head guard turned behind him, stared in horror realizing that his army had ditched their weapons, and ran away. He gave a cheesy smile to Sasuke and ran for his dear life.

Kiba smiled and looked down at Akamaru who did the same thing.

"That's really something!" complimented Kiba.

"Really something!" Akamaru continued.

"Are you talking to--" Sasuke started turning to Kiba but saw no one there.

"...me?" Sasuke continued.

"Yes we were talking to you!" Akamaru barked making Sasuke jump.

"That's was amazing! So cool!" cheered Kiba following Sasuke.

"Yeah! Those guards thought they were all that and then they show up then BAM!! They were tripping over themselves like Babes in the Woods!!" barked Akamaru.

"Oh that's great…" said Sasuke.

"It's good to get away!" smiled Kiba.

"Well why don't you go with your own friends now?" asked Sasuke annoyed.

"Well…err…we don't have any friends…" answered Kiba looking down.

"I know! We'll stick with you! With us together no one will dare cross our path," cried Akamaru.

Sasuke glared at them both and breathed in deeply then roared fiercely, Kiba just stood there and blinked.

"Wow that was really something…"

"And if that doesn't work then your breath will get the job done! 'Cause you stink! " barked Akamaru.

"Why are you following me?" asked Sasuke confused.

"We'll tell you why!" exclaimed Kiba.

Akamaru jumped out of Kiba's jacket and stood in front of Sasuke.

"Cause we're all alone there's no one beside us…our problems have all gone there's no one to derive us…but you gotta have friends--" they sang.

"Stop singing!" yelled Sasuke frustrated, he picked up Akamaru and put him aside.

"No wonder you don't have any friends!"

"Wow…only a true friend would be that honest!" yapped Akamaru.

Having enough Sasuke stopped and swiftly turned to them.

"Look you two, take a look at me! What do you think I am?!"

Kiba and Akamaru looked him up and down, the only difference between him and a regular human is that he had wolf ears and a tail.

"Um…" Kiba struggled.

"Really tall?" Akamaru guessed.

"NO! I'm a wolf demon! You know…the legendry Sharigan wolf demon grab your torch and pitch forks! Doesn't that bother you!" asked Sasuke.

"Nope!" Kiba and Akamaru said together.

"Really?" asked Sasuke taken back.

"Really, really!" barked Akamaru.

"Oh…"

"I like you! What's your name?" asked Kiba smiling.

"Um…Sasuke…" Sasuke answered not quite believing what he just heard.

"You know what I like about you Sasuke! You don't care about what anyone thinks of you!" Akamaru chirped.

They finally reached an old cave with moss decorating the outside of the walls, flowers with the colours, pink, purple, blue peeking out of the mud at the sides.

"Eww, look at **that**!" Kiba groaned at the sight of the place.

"Who want to live in a place like **that**!" Akamaru said in disgust.

"**That** would be my home…" Sasuke said in a monotone voice.

Kiba and Akamaru gasped in shock and quickly gabbled "Oh its lovely! Beautiful!" While Sasuke groaned in annoyance.

Kiba noticed a '**Do not enter**' sign.

"Umm…guess you don't have many people around…" Kiba stated.

"I like my privacy," Sasuke said simply.

"I know what you mean I hate it when people are in your face, you give them hints and they don't leave then there's that awkward silence…" barked Akamaru.

Sasuke stared at the dog, then there was an awkward silence.

Kiba broke the silence.

"Can we stay with you?"

"What?"

"Can we stay with you please?" Akamaru repeated.

"Of course!" Sasuke smiled.

"Really?" asked Kiba.

"No,"

"Oh please! You got to let us stay! You don't know what it's like being labeled a freak!" barked Akamaru backing Sasuke up to the cave wall.

"Well…maybe…you do…"

"But that's why we have to stick together!" Kiba finished.

"Please! Please! Please!"

"Alright! Alright!" yelled Sasuke giving up.

"Yes!" yelled Kiba running into the cave despite the sounds of protests from Sasuke.

"Um…where do we sleep?" asked Kiba while Akamaru was barking around the cave.

"Outside!" yelled Sasuke frustrated.

"Oh…that's okay I guess…since we've just met and all…" Kiba said walking out the cave along with Akamaru.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and entered his cave he didn't want to be disturbed.

* * *

Lord Mizuki strolled down the halls to his torture chamber, a wicked smirk placed on his face as he snapped his gloves on his hand, as he walked inside the torture chamber the sounds of distinctive coughing and spluttering were heard.

"That's enough!" Mizuki said to the torturer.

"He's ready to talk," he smirked.

The torturer immediately stopped dunking the gingerbread Konohamaru in a glass of milk, Konohamaru coughed and spluttered as he was placed on the tray.

Mizuki cackled as he neared the table, but realized the table was too high and gave an abrupt cough then the table lowered down to his height.

Mizuki grabbed the two broken gingerbread legs (which were Kohonamaru's) and made them dance around Kohonamaru.

"Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the Gingerbread man!" Mizuki mocked.

"You're a monster! An ugly monster!" exclaimed Kohonamaru.

"I'm not a monster you are!" yelled Mizuki tossing one of the gingerbread legs down to Kohonamaru.

"You and the rest of that fairytale trash destroying my perfect world!" Mizuki said crushing the other gingerbread leg in his hand.

He swiftly turned to Kohonamaru and lowered the lamp in Kohonamaru's face.

"Now tell me where the others are!"

"Eat me!" Kohonamaru spat white icing that landed in Mizuki's eye. Mizuki growled as he wiped the icing away.

"I'd tried to be fair now my patience has reached it's end! Tell me or I'll…" Mizuki growled ready to pull off his cape.

"No not the cape! Not my chocolate cape!" exclaimed Kohonamaru.

"Then tell me! Who'd hidden them?!"

"Okay…I'll tell you…do you know the muffin man?"

"The muffin man?"

"The muffin man…"

"Yes I know the muffin man who lives on Leaf Lane?"

"Well…she's married to the muffin man…"

"The muffin man?!"

"The muffin man!"

"She's married to the muffin man…" Mizuki said in wonder.

Suddenly the door swung opened and the head guard ran in.

"My lord! We've found it!"

"Well what are you waiting for? Bring it in!" commanded Mizuki.

Some guards dragged in a large gold framed mirror, engraved at the top says:

'_Magic Mirror Neji'_

Suddenly the face of a young boy, with long hair and pale coloured eyes, appeared inside the mirror, the guards awed and so did Kohonamaru.

"Magic Mirror…" Mizuki started reaching out to touch the glass.

"Don't tell them anything!" yelled Kohonamaru, Mizuki grabbed the gingerbread boy and tossed him into a nearby bin, who yelled "Noooo" he groan from inside the bin.

Mizuki cleared his throat.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, is this not the most greatest kingdom of all?"

"Well…technically you're not a king…"

Mizuki gave a displeasured look.

"Um, Ebiki?"

A big guy with scary face with scars on his face lifted up a mirror and smashed it.

"You were saying…?" Mizuki smirked.

Neji suddenly looked nervous.

"What I mean is…your not a king **yet**! But you can become one all you have to do is marry a princess.!"

"Go on…"

Neji chuckled nervously.

"So…sit back and relax my lord…'cause it's time you to choose from today eligible bachelorettes and here they are!"

A picture of a brown haired girl with buns appeared on the mirror.

"Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut off from a kingdom far, far away, she likes cleaning and pointy things please welcome…Tenterella!"

A few guards clapped for the princess.

Then a picture of a blonde girl with pale skin and blue eyes with no pupils, appeared in the mirror.

"Bachelorette number two, is a blonde girl from the land of fantasy! Although she lives with seven other bushy eyebrow boys, she ain't easy! Just kiss her dead frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is! Give it up for…Ino White!"

A few more guards clapped.

Then a picture of a yellow haired boy with whiskers marks on his cheeks and beautiful blue eyes, wearing an orange dress appeared in the mirror but Lord Mizuki didn't realize he was a boy because of his beauty.

"And last but definitely not least, bachelorette number three, is a beautiful blonde from a dragon guarded castle surrounded by boiling lava, but don't let that cool you off! She's a loaded pistol who likes foxes, ramen and the colour orange! Yours for the rescuing, Princess Naruto!"

Almost all of the guards clapped for Naruto.

"So which one will it be? Number one, number two or number three?"

The guards began shoving each other and shouting every number, Mizuki had a hard time deciding which one to choose until Ebiki said loudly "Pick number three my Lord!"

"Okay! Number three!" yelled Lord Mizuki.

"Lord Mizuki you've picked Princess Naruto…"

The guards cheered that their Lord has picked someone to marry.

"Princess Naruto…she's perfect all I need to do now is go to find someone who can--"

"I probably should mention something that happens at night…" interrupted Neji.

"Yes I'll do it!"

"But after sunset…"

"Silence! I will make Princess Naruto my queen, and then Duloc will finally have a perfect king! Captain assemble your finest men, we're going to have tournament!" declared Mizuki.

* * *

Meanwhile Sasuke sat down to eat his supper, and then he heard some creaking he thought that Kiba and Akamaru had sneaked in.

"I thought I'd told you two to stay outside," Sasuke sighed putting his fork down.

"We are outside!" exclaimed Kiba and Akamaru.

Sasuke's eye narrowed he scanned the room, searching for signs of life, until he heard a faint voice from the table talking.

"Well, guys, it's not a farm but what choice do we have?"

Sasuke looked down at the table, and saw three cockroaches with black glasses that seemed to be blind scuttling around the table, Sasuke winced in disgust at the talking blind cockroaches who were all named Shino.

"It's not home but it'll do just fine!" exclaimed the second cockroach.

Sasuke slammed his fist on the table.

"Got you!"

However, the third cockroach had managed to crawl on Sasuke's shoulder and sniffed around his ear.

"Hey! I found some cheese!" it cried, and bit Sasuke ear.

"Ow!" grunted Sasuke.

"Blegg! Awful stuff!" cried the third Shino as he was flicked off Sasuke's shoulder.

"What are you doing in my house!" growled Sasuke, as he rounded up the three cockroaches, but before he could toast them with his fire powers, seven snickering dwarfs with bushy eyebrows and green jumpsuits had put a glass coffin with a blonde girl inside on the table.

Sasuke dropped the cockroaches and turned his attention to the dwarfs.

"Oh no dead body off the table!" Sasuke growled pushing the glass coffin towards the dwarfs off the table.

"Well where are we supposed to put her?" asked the first dwarf pushing the coffin back onto the table.

"The bed taken!" cried the seventh dwarf.

"Huh?" asked Sasuke raising an eyebrow in confusion, he rushed towards his bedroom and saw a wolf demon wearing a granny's suit with black ears and tail was lying on his bed.

"What?" asked the wolf demon, who was named Sai, in a monotone voice.

"I'm a terrifying demon, I put up signs, I live in cave! What do I have to do to get a little privacy!" snarled Sasuke as he threw them all out.

He gasped in horror as he seen hundred of mystical creatures camping outside his cave, pixies, elves, witches, princesses, and goblin the whole load of them were trying to get inside his home.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY PROPETY!!" Sasuke roared loudly making the crowd of mystical creatures go deadly silence and back away in fear as his voice echoed.

He began backing the crowd out of his land.

"Alright move it! Get out! Move, move, move!"

Suddenly some sneaky creatures got behind Sasuke and rushed inside the cave.

"No, no, no, no, no! Not there!" yelled Sasuke but knew it was too late, he glared at Kiba and Akamaru.

"Hey, don't look at us! We didn't invite them!" cried Kiba cuddling Akamaru to his chest.

"No one invited us…," said the wooden puppet Sasori, Sasuke looked at him.

"We were forced to come here!"

"By who?" Sasuke growled dangerously.

"Lord Mizuki!" said one of the three pigs that were all named Choji.

"Yeah!" said the second Choji.

"He huffed and he puffed and…signed a eviction notice…" said the third Choji.

Sasuke sighed hearing the reason.

"Alright, who knows where this Mizuki guy is?" asked Sasuke.

The crowd murmured but they were too scared to speak out except Akamaru.

"Oh I know where he is!" barked Akamaru.

"Does anyone else know where he is?" asked Sasuke turning away from Akamaru.

"Oh, oh pick me!" Akamaru barked.

Sasuke sighed realizing that the annoying dog was the only one who was going to speak out.

"Okay fine…attention all fairytale…things…don't get comfortable your welcome is officially worn out in fact! I'm going to see this Mizuki guy and send you back where you came from!"

They all cheered for their new 'hero' some birds fluttered above his head and put a reef of flowers on his head, he smacked them away from him and he turned to Akamaru and Kiba.

"And you two, are coming with me," he said sternly.

"All right!" barked Akamaru leading Sasuke to the direction to Lord Mizuki.

"Kiba, Akamaru and Sasuke off on a whirlwind adventure!" cried Kiba following them both.

"On the road again..."sang Akamaru

"Sing with us Sasuke!" cried Kiba.

"What did I say about singing?" Sasuke asked sternly.

"Can we whistle?" asked Akamaru.

"Can we…hum?" asked Kiba.

"Okay hum…" sighed Sasuke shaking his head at the two annoying, now singing, idiots who would lead to Lord Mizuki.

* * *

**A/N: NO FLAMES! READ AND REVIEW PUPPY DOG EYES**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Shrek.**

**Umm answer questions.**

**Is Mizuki short in this one?**

**No he's not its the torturer in the last chapter was very tall.**

**Why not make Shikamaru the Big Bad Wolf?**

**Because he suits a much more better character and you'll understand why when he finally appears in the story**

**Alright I'll try not to make the story too much like Shrek suggestions and opinions are very welcome.**

* * *

Sasuke, Kiba and Akamaru stood outside the walls of Duloc.

"That's it there! Duloc!" barked Akamaru.

"So this is Mizuki's castle?" Sasuke asked looking up at the walls of Duloc.

"Yep! That's the place!" smiled Kiba.

"Do you think he's compensating for something?" Sasuke laughed at his own joke but groaned when he realized the others weren't laughing with him, as he walked to the entrance to Duloc.

They saw a person dressed in a mascot of Mizuki greeting people coming in and out.

"Come on we're gonna be late!" cried a person talking to her friend running inside.

"Hey you!" called Kiba to the mascot.

As Sasuke approached the mascot, he began screaming and desperately trying to get inside.

"Wait a second! I'm not going to eat you! Could you…will you…" Sasuke groaned and walked through the ropes that the mascot was still trying to get through them, Sasuke walked inside Duloc with Kiba and Akamaru following him while the mascot knocked himself out by running into a wall.

When they entered Duloc the streets were completely empty.

"It's quiet," said Kiba.

"Too quiet," said Sasuke scanning the streets for any signs of life.

"Where is everyone?!" yelled Kiba.

"Hey guys look at this!" exclaimed Akamaru referring to a large machine; Kiba pressed the button on the side of the machine.

It suddenly began making clicking and whirling sounds after a few seconds the whirling and clicking went faster until the doors to the machine burst open, there were miniature matchstick figures singing.

_**Welcome to Duloc! It's a perfect town**_

_**We have some rules let us lay them down**_

_**don't make waves, stay in line  
and we'll get along fine  
Duloc is a perfect place  
please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes,  
wash your... face  
Duloc is, Duloc is, Duloc is a perfect place!#**_

They heard a snap and a photo displayed they're reactions, Sasuke's face was cringing with the cuteness, Kiba was staring wide eyed and Akamaru had a cheeky grin on his face.

"Whoa…" said Kiba blinking.

"Let's do that again!" barked Akamaru running towards the button again, but Kiba grabbed him while Sasuke was yelling.

"No, no, no…no!"

They all heard some trumpets playing and they walked towards the sound, they walked inside a huge stadium crowded with people while guards were lined up in the centre of the stadium, Lord Mizuki was looking down upon them on his balcony.

"Brave knights the bravest, brightest and best in all the land!"

Akamaru hummed as he walked inside the stadium along with Kiba and Sasuke.

_'So that's what he spends all that money on...hair dye!'_ thought Kiba eyeing Mizuki's bleached silver hair.

"That champion will have the honor…no…the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Naruto from the fiery keep of the dragon. If the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner up will take his place…and so on and so forth…some of you may die but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. Today one of you will prove himself! Let the tournament begin!"

The crowd gasped and screamed when they saw Sasuke.

"What is it?!" cried Mizuki as Sasuke walked in.

"It's a monster!" Mizuki cried out.

"Well that's not very nice…it's just a mutt with his mutt!" Sasuke said.

"Huh?" Kiba and Akamaru said together.

Mizuki raised an eyebrow then an idea formed in his head.

"New plan! Anyone who can kill the demon will become champion!"

The guards came forward backing Sasuke, Kiba and Akamaru against the wall.

"Oh come on now," Kiba tried to reason, he noticed a barrel full of beer next to them.

"Can't we settle this over a pint?" Kiba suggested, his suggestion was ignored, as the crowd was yelling, "Get them! Kill the beast!"

"No…have it your way then!" yelled Sasuke he smashed the beer letting the entire alcohol sweep over the guards, making them fall to the ground. Kiba and Akamaru got behind the barrels and rolled them over the guards crushing them.

Sasuke rushed into a place where they kept the horses outside, the horses dashed away, it what looked like a wrestling ring, he punched, kicked and bitten any guard that came near him.

"Tag me! Tag me!" barked Akamaru.

Sasuke tagged his paw and on cue a guard came rushing near Sasuke, Akamaru bitten him on the wrist, just as the guard was about to remove him Kiba got up and punched him in the face.

The once scared crowd almost instantly became entertained one woman shouted at Sasuke. "The chair! Give him the chair!"

Sasuke rammed a chair around the head, all the guards that were after Sasuke were now lying unconscious on the floor.

However, all the guards on the balcony got their cross bow and their target was Sasuke. The crowd gasped and murmured.

"Shall I give the order sir?" asked the head guard.

"No…I have a better idea," smirked Mizuki.

"People of Duloc I give you your champion!" Mizuki said loudly pointing to Sasuke, Sasuke gave a confused look.

"Congratulations demon, you've won the honour of embarking on a brave and noble quest!"

"A quest? I'm already on a quest! A quest to get my property back!" yelled Sasuke.

"Your property?"

"Yes! My property! Where you dumped those mystical creatures on!"

The crowd began to whisper at Sasuke's accusation.

"Very well demon, I'll make you a deal go on this quest for me and I'll give you back your property,"

"Exactly the way it was?"

"Down to the last slime covered toadstool,"

"And the tomatoes?"

"As good as gone…"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at his offer.

"What kind of quest?"

* * *

"Let me get this straight. You go on this quest to rescue a princess that's guarded by dragon just to get your property back, which you don't have because he's dumped mystical creatures there in the first place, it that about right?" asked Akamaru as Kiba, Sasuke and him walked through a corn field.

"You know there might be a reason that dogs shouldn't talk…" muttered Sasuke peeling an onion he found on the floor.

"I don't get it Sasuke, why don't you just pull some of that demon stuff on him, you know, throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, you know, the whole demon thing?" asked Kiba.

"Why don't I just raid an entire village, put their decapitated heads on spikes rip open their spleens and drink their fluids? Does that sound good to you?" Sasuke suggested giving a devilish grin.

Kiba paled while Akamaru shuddered.

"No, not really no…" they both said.

"You know there's more to demons than people think…" muttered Sasuke.

"Example?" Akamaru asked.

"Demons are like…onions!" Sasuke exclaimed shoving the onion, he just peeled in Akamaru's face.

"They stink?" asked Akamaru sniffing the onion.

"Yes…no!"

"They make you cry?" suggested Kiba.

"No!"

"Oh if you leave them in the sun too long they start sprouting little white hairs…" Akamaru said nodding.

"No! Layers! Onions have layers! Demons have layers! You get it we both have layers!" yelled Sasuke ripping the onion into pieces.

Kiba and Akamaru went silent.

"You know not everybody likes onions…" muttered Akamaru staring at the remains of the onion.

"Cake! Cake has layers!" yelled Kiba.

"Everybody loves cake!" Akamaru agreed running to the side of Sasuke.

"I don't care what everyone likes! Demons are not like cakes!" growled Sasuke losing his patience.

"You what else everyone likes! Sugar! Have you ever heard someone say 'Hey want some sugar' and they answer 'No thanks I don't like sugar'!" said Kiba smiling.

"Demons aren't like sugar either! Demons are like onions end of story bye-bye see you later!" Sasuke yelled storming off.

"Sugar may be the tastiest thing on this planet!" Akamaru barked.

"I preferred you two humming!" shouted Sasuke.

* * *

After a while, they reached a tall rocky mountain, a foul smell filled Akamaru's nostrils.

"Phew…Sasuke did you do that?" asked Akamaru while coughing and spluttering.

"Trust me I didn't do and it's not that bad…" Sasuke answered.

"Akamaru's sense of smell is amplified, making bad smells a hundred times worse…one time this kid farted in his face and the smell was stuck in his nose for three weeks…" Kiba explained.

Sasuke sniffed the air.

"It's brimstone we must be close…" Sasuke stated climbing the mountain.

Akamaru coughed as they reached the top they gasped when they saw the castle surrounded by boiling lava.

"Ermm…Sasuke…you know you said that demons had layers…" Akamaru started as Sasuke walking to the bridge that led to the castle, he gasped when he saw a skeleton.

"Dogs don't really have layers…wear our fear right out to our sleeves…"

"Wait a minute, dogs don't have sleeves…" said Sasuke turning to Akamaru.

"You know what I mean...," growled Akamaru.

"Oh don't tell me you're afraid of heights…" growled Sasuke.

"No I'm just uncomfortable about going over a rickety bridge above a sea of HOT BOILING LAVA!" barked Akamaru staring at the lava, Kiba and Sasuke got behind Akamaru.

"Chill Akamaru, I'll be here for emotional support one little baby step at a time," Kiba comforted.

"Really?" asked Akamaru.

"Really, really," smiled Kiba.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and motioned Akamaru to move forward.

"Just keep moving and don't look down," muttered Sasuke walking with Akamaru.

"Don't look down…don't look down…don't look down…don't look down…" Akamaru muttered under his breath shivering, his paw stepped on a loose plank and it fell down, by instinct Akamaru looked down.

"AH! GUYS! I'M LOOKING DOWN! I CAN'T DO THIS TAKE ME BACK!!" screamed Akamaru.

"But you're already half way!" exclaimed Sasuke.

"Yeah! But I know that half is safe!" barked Akamaru.

"Fine! Go back! I don't have time for this!" snarled Sasuke glaring at Akamaru attempting to pass the fussing Kiba and the whining Akamaru.

It was only when Sasuke shook the bridge that Akamaru and Kiba shut up.

"Don't do that!" shouted Kiba.

Sasuke smirked.

"What? This?" he asked shaking the bridge again.

Akamaru and Kiba jumped backwards.

"Yes that!" they both said.

"Yes? Yes do it…okay!"

Sasuke kept shaking the bridge making Kiba and Akamaru jump.

"AAAHHH!!! SASUKE NO!!! AHHHHH!!!! I'M NOT READY TO DIEEE!!! AHHHH!!! I'M GONNA DIIIEE!!" they screamed until they both reached the solid ground on the other side of the bridge.

"Oh…" said Kiba in realization.

"That'll do doggy, that'll do,"

"…cool…" Kiba muttered.

"…So where is the fire breathing pain in the neck anyway?" asked Akamaru trying the shrug off the embarrassment.

"In the tower waiting to be rescued…" Sasuke muttered walking towards the tower.

"…He was talking about the dragon Sasuke…"

"Are you scared?" whispered Kiba.

"No," Sasuke said simply.

"G-good me either…" stuttered Kiba.

"I-it's o-okay to b-be afraid a-after all there a f-f-fire dragon who e-e-eats people…it's o-only natural to b-be afraid…" shivered Akamaru.

"You're n-not a coward if y-you're a little afraid…" muttered Kiba.

"Two words you two…**shut** **up**, now go find some stairs…" growled Sasuke.

"I thought we were looking for the princess?" Akamaru said tilting his head in confusion.

"The stairs will lead us to the tallest tower,"

"Oh…"

Kiba turned to a skeleton that was once a knight, ripped off the armor and gave it to Sasuke.

"In case you run into the dragon," smiled Kiba.

Sasuke put on the armor and dusted himself off, Akamaru headed west while Kiba went east Sasuke went straight ahead.

* * *

Kiba wandered the corridors for a while until he saw a female figure in the middle of the hall.

"Hey! Are you the princess?!" yelled Kiba running towards the female, the girl was a sandy blonde with three pigtails and dark green pupil-less eyes, she was wearing a fishnet top with black armor around her torso, arms, legs, with a dragon engraved in the armor.

"C'mon! We gotta get you outta here!" cried Kiba pulling her arm.

The girl glared and pulled her arm away from him.

"I'm not the Princess!"

Kiba gave a confused look at her.

"Then who are you?"

"I'm the dragon's keeper,"

"I didn't think anyone else was meant to be here…"

"Oh please! How do you expect the Princess to survive locked in the tower for seven years without food or water! The dragon?!"

"…Good point…"

* * *

Sasuke looked up and saw the tower.

"Well at least I've found the tower…but where's the--?"

"DRAGON!!!" yelled Akamaru running down the halls the red dragon hot on his tail.

* * *

Kiba heard Akamaru's yell.

"DRAGOOON!!!"

Kiba was about go and help him until Temari whacked him over the head with her iron fan knocking him out.

"I think dragon will enjoy you for her dinner," grinned Temari.

* * *

The dragon chased Akamaru into a part; the concrete around that particular spot fell down into the boiling lava.

"Oh what large teeth you have…" Akamaru shivered seeing his reflection in the dragon's teeth.

The dragon roared.

"I…I mean er…white sparkling teeth…you must hear this from your dinner all the time…but you must bleach them or something…because you have a dazzling smile...and do I detect the hint of minty freshness?"

The dragon blushed and battered her eyelashes.

"You're--you're a girl dragon! I mean of course you're a girl dragon because your reeking of feminine beauty!"

The dragon leaned in close and battered her eyelashes again.

"What's wrong? Got something in your eye?"

The dragon blew smoke that was shaped like a heart; the dragon was in love with Akamaru!

"…Ohhh…" Akamaru said in realization. "Umm…you know I would love to stay but um…HELP!! SASUKE! KIBA!!"

The dragon picked Akamaru up by the tail and pranced away.

* * *

Naruto looked outside the window, and saw a young man-rushing save to him.

'_Yes! Prince Charming's come for me at last!'_

He laid on the bed with a bouquet of sunflowers in his hands, he felt the young man sit on the bed, Naruto perched his lips waiting to be kissed. However, the young man shook him awake.

"Wake up!" growled Sasuke.

"What?!" yelled Naruto glaring at Sasuke.

"Are you Princess Naruto?" asked Sasuke.

"I am,"

"But you're a boy!"

"For your information I'm called a Princess because I can have children…"

"Great! C'mon let's go!" said Sasuke impatiently, tugging Naruto's arm.

"But…this isn't right! You're meant to sweep me off my feet and ride away into the sunset upon your noble steed!" exclaimed Naruto.

Sasuke stopped running and raised an eyebrow at Naruto.

"You've had a lot of time to plan this haven't you?"

Naruto nodded.

"May I have the name of my champion?" asked Naruto putting his hands on his hips.

"Sasuke,"

There was a mighty roar, Naruto gasped.

"YOU DIDN'T SLAY THE DRAGON!" yelled Naruto.

"It's was on my to do list okay!" exclaimed Sasuke.

Sasuke dragged Naruto behind him trying to find Kiba and Akamaru.

"You're meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying - that's what all the other knights did!"

"Right before they were burnt to a crisp, Dobe!" growled Sasuke eyeing a skeleton with burn marks on it.

"That's not the point teme! What are you doing the exit's that way?" asked Naruto pointing left.

"Well I have to save my mutts,"

"What kind of knight are you?"

"One of a kind," smirked Sasuke.

Sasuke opened a large door, which led him to a huge hall, a sandy haired girl walked into the hall from the other side.

"Dragon I have something for you," she said cheerfully, dragging in Kiba.

Temari raised an eyebrow when she saw a dog in her dragon's clutches.

"What are you doing dragon?"

Dragon kept leaning down and kissing Akamaru, Temari nearly barfed.

"Eww on second thought I don't want to know…" she walked out the room leaving Kiba dazed on the floor.

"Um…I don't want to be in a relationship right away…maybe we can be friend maybe even pen pals…wha! Wha! DON'T TOUCH THAT!!! THAT'S MY PERSONAL SPACE!!! AAAHHHH!!!"

Sasuke winced at the dragons actions and cautiously crept down the stair but slipped at landing in the exact spot Akamaru was in knocking him out of the way, the dragon leaned down and kissed Sasuke. The dragon roared when she realized she kissed Sasuke.

"KIBA! WAKE UP!!!" yelled Akamaru.

Kiba shot up and got on his feet.

"What the hell it that?!" screamed Kiba pointing at the dragon.

"A FLYING UNICORN! WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?!" yelled Sasuke.

Naruto slid down by the banister, and grabbed Sasuke by the hand.

"Quickly! This way!" yelled Naruto running out of the room the dragon hot on their trail.

Temari heard the commotion and ran into the room.

"DRAGON! THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!" she yelled.

'_Now we'll see if they're really the ones who will break the spell…'_

She raised her fan open; she glided herself through the air and landed upon dragon's back, and chased Princess Naruto and the others.

The dragon zigzagged through different rooms chasing them, she caught her neck inside a chandelier knocking Temari off her, and finally Sasuke and the others reached the bridge.

Dragon breathed fire and burnt the ropes that held the unstable bridge.

Sasuke held onto the bridge hanging on for dear life, Naruto held onto Sasuke's leg, Kiba held onto Naruto's leg while Akamaru bitten Kiba's trouser leg.

Naruto screamed when she saw the dragon flying towards them but the dragon was held back by the chandelier wrapped around her neck.

Akamaru had a horrible guilty feeling in his stomach, maybe deep down he actually liked dragon? He had no time to think when he was dragged to safety on the mountaintop.

Temari smiled as she patted Dragon's back, even though Princess Naruto was gone she was happy somebody worthy had rescued him when they were young she and Naruto were best of friends and still are now. Naruto never held it against her that she kept him captive for he knew she was just doing her duty.

"Well Naruto, looks like you've finally managed to find somebody worthy after all, goodbye my friend and good luck," smiled Temari.

A huge smile spread across Naruto's face as they climbed down the mountaintop, he hugged Sasuke making him blush, this didn't go unnoticed by Kiba.

"Thank you! You've rescued me! It's been so long since I've been outside of that place!"

Naruto ran and hugged Kiba.

"Your all so brave! I'm really grateful for you saving me,"

Naruto crouched down and patted Akamaru.

"And thank to you too Akamaru,"

"Awww shucks…"

Naruto smiled and turned to Sasuke.

"Sir Sasuke, please remove your helmet I'd like to see the face of my rescuer…"

Sasuke flinched and backed away as Naruto neared him.

"Umm I'm not sure that's such a good idea…"

"But…how will I kiss you, then?"

"KISS?!" yelled Sasuke as he fell back over a rock.

"Umm…yeah…I'm meant to kiss my true love…you know the one who's rescued me…"

"Wait…true love?"

"Umm…yes…"

Kiba, Akamaru and Sasuke glanced at each other and then began laughing.

"What so funny?!" demanded Naruto annoyed.

"…It's just…I'm not your true love!" chuckled Sasuke.

"But you must be, you're my rescuer, now remove your helmet,"

"Look dobe I--"

"Take it off!"

"But wait--"

"NOW!"

"Alright! As you wish your highness!" Sasuke said sarcastically removing his helmet letting his wolf ears pop out.

The smile on Naruto's face faded, when he saw he what his rescuer was.

"Oh…you're a…demon…" Naruto said in a disappointed tone, Kiba gave a sympathetic look to him while Sasuke smirked.

"Oh you were expected someone else?"

"Yes actually…" Naruto muttered sitting on a nearby rock.

"Look Princess, I was sent to rescue you, Lord Mizuki is your **true love**!"

Naruto glared at him.

"Well if Lord Mizuki wants to rescue me properly…he will fetch me himself you can tell him that!"

Sasuke's ears and tail twitched up, his eyes glowed a ruby red, and that only happened when he was really angry.

"I am no messenger boy…I'm a delivery boy…" he growled walking up to him.

"You wouldn't dare…"

Sasuke threw Naruto over his shoulder, Naruto began kicking, screaming while Akamaru and Kiba wandered behind.

"C'mon you guys we're leaving…" growled Sasuke leaving them no room for them to argue.

"Sorry Naruto there's nothing I can do…" whispered Kiba.

"PUT ME DOWN OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS TO HADES AND BACK! YEEAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHH!" roared Naruto, while Sasuke only smirked.

* * *

**A/N: READ AND REVIEW! Ummm questions welcome! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Shrek or Naruto**

**Back in business! YaY!!**

**Did you guys know they're planning to do two more Shrek films?**

* * *

Hours have passed by, was still Sasuke carrying Naruto who was tired and bored by Akamaru's endless chattering.

"So let me ask another question..."

Naruto groaned, while Kiba and Akamaru sniggered.

"So there's this girl who likes you but you don't like her. How do you let her down gentlely not hurting her feelings and avoiding being burnt alived and eaten cripsy style?"

"Just slowly explain to her that you don't love her and says that everyone has a true--"

Sasuke accidently tripped interrupting him.

"The sooner we're at Duloc the better," Naruto muttered glaring at Sasuke's head.

"You'll love it there Princess! It's wonderful there!" Kiba spoke up kindly.

"And what's my future husband going to be like? What does he look like?" asked Naruto giving a cute wondering gaze.

"Well," began Sasuke not to delicately sitting him down on a rock.

"He's definately **bright**," Sasuke joked referring to Lord Mizuki's hair.

Kiba laughed getting his joke.

"Yeah a real **shining** example!" Kiba also joked and started to burst out laughing with Sasuke smirking.

"I don't get it..." Akamaru muttered confused. **(A/N Dogs are colourblind afterall)**

"Never so I..." Naruto nodded looking at Kiba and Sasuke like they'd have two heads.

"You'll get it when you meet him Princess," Kiba smiled while Sasuke washed his dirty face in the lake next to them.

"Yes, I'm sure your not too dumb to realize the joke when you finally meet him tommorrow," Sasuke drawled as he finished washing his face.

Naruto blushed as he finally noticed Sasuke actually was handsome. He couldn't tell with the soot covering his pale skin.

His eyes widened at a sudden realisation.

"Tommorrow? It's gonna take that long?" Naruto asked nervously.

"Yep," Sasuke confirmed as he started to walk away.

"Sh-shouldn't we set up camp?"

"No, because that'll take longer." Sasuke said firmly.

"But there's robbers and bandits in the woods!"

Kiba and Akamaru stopped in their tracks.

"Wait a sec Sasuke, he's gottas point," Kiba nodded.

"Yeah it definately sounds good!!" Akamaru barked.

"Look you guys, I'm the most scariest thing in this forest," Sasuke muttered fed up.

Naruto marched right in front of Sasuke.

"I NEED TO SET UP CAMP **NOOOWW!!!**" roared Naruto.

Kiba, Sasuke with his ears and tail drooped and Akamaru stared at him in shock, they faintly heard birds and animals scuttle away at the Princess's sheer fierceness in his voice. O.o o_o OwO

* * *

Sasuke annoyed moved made an enterance for Naruto's camp made out of blouders.

"Here you are Dobe Princess," Sasuke sighed glaring at Naruto.

"Don't you think we can do better than that Sasuke?" inspected Kiba.

Sasuke was about to yell at Kiba until Naruto interuppted.

"No its perfect, it just needs something..."

"Something? Like what?" Sasuke asked dumbfounded. They heard a large ripping sound and Naruto came back with a large block of wood.

"Like a door, well its been great guys but I, erm, need my beauty sleep!" Naruto blabbled as he backed his way into his camp. The large block of wood blocking their sight.

"You want me to read you a bedtime story Princess? Cause I will!" Akamaru barked happily.

"Goodnight Akamaru." Naruto said firmly.

Sasuke glanced longly at another blouder near Naruto's camp.

_'Maybe if I could move it in front of his entrance...'_

"Sasuke!" Kiba yelled.

"What? Its just a thought!"

"And that's Hokage the 3th taming the vicious snake demon, you see," Sasuke said pointing to a constalation in the sky.

Kiba made a scrunched up face trying to see the pattern.

"I see...I think..."

"Will you tell me my future? Huh?" chirped Akamaru.

"You can't tell the future by the stars Akamaru. You can tell stories. Like that one the Snake Sanin, you see, there's him and there's the villagers running away from his ugliness."

"I can't really tell..."

"It's only a big load of stupid dots anyway," Akamaru sniffed.

"You know Akamaru maybe there's more to things than they seem. Hm?" Sasuke indicating something but Kiba and Akamaru just stared at him.

"Nevermind," sighed Sasuke.

"What are we going to do when we get our swamp back anyway?" Kiba asked.

"Um, **our** swamp?"

"Yeah, after we bring back the Princess then what?" barked Akamaru.

"Kiba, Akamaru there is no we, there's no our, when we bring back the Dobe Princess it's just gonna be me and my swamp, I'll build a wall as soon as I get back,"

"That stung Sasuke...that stung!" whimpered Akamaru.

"You know what Sasuke I think that the whole wall thing is because you've got something to hide," Kiba growled in defense of Akamaru.

"Oh really?" Sasuke sarcastically asked.

"Yeah really! What is it?"

"Nevermind Kiba," Sasuke muttered turning away from him only to be faced with Akamaru.

"Is it a demon thing?" asked Akamaru.

"Drop it!" yelled Sasuke turning away to be faced with Kiba.

"Why don't you want to talk?"

"Why do you guys even WANT to talk to me!" snarled Sasuke his ears and tail beginning to prickle back.

"Who are you hidding from huh? Who?" inquired Akamaru.

"EVERYONE OKAY!!" roared Sasuke causing Kiba and Akamaru to step back, Sasuke got up and walk away from them.

"We're getting somewhere now!" chirped Akamaru.

"What's your problem Sasuke? What have you got against everyone anyway?" asked Kiba.

"I'm haven't got the problem! The world seems to have a problem with me! As soon as someone sees me its, _**ahhh help run! An evil, visious, monstrous demon!**_"

Sasuke sighed sitting down again.

"They never think twice, they judge me before they even know me, that's why I'm better off alone," Sasuke stated sadly, unaware that he was being watched by Naruto inside his camp.

Naruto away with a guilty conscience.

Kiba and Akamaru looked at each then sat beside him.

"You know Sasuke, dude, we never ran away and think that when we met you," smiled Kiba sympathically.

Sasuke blinked as he looked at Akamaru who had his head on his lap, then back at Kiba.

"Yeah, your right," smiled Sasuke realizing.

"So er, is there any dogs up in the sky huh?" asked Akamaru wagging his tail.

"Um, well, there's Fluffly the loud...and smelly,"

"I think I see it! It that glowy one in the middle!" barked Akamaru.

"That's the moon..." Kiba said.

"Oh...it's pretty!"

* * *

Mizuki layed in his leopard pattern bed, sipping white wine while watching a picture of Naruto, projected by Neji, while romantic music played when the music stopped the projection faded.

The lord had everything ready for his new bride to arrive too, including clothes, wedding dresses and even a puppy with a pink bow around its neck.

He was all ready for seducing his new Queen.

"Again! Show her to me again," Mizuki sighed longingly.

Neji grimanced as he played the music again and Naruto's picture showed up.

"Ahh...she's perfect..." sighed Mizuki.

_'My God this guy's creepy!'_ thought Neji with tears comically streaming down his face.

Naruto crept away from camp leaving the other sleeping by each other's side.

_'Maybe making them breakfast will make it up to them,'_

Naruto whistled a tune, he noticed two birds in competion.

The birds began to chirp in a higher tune. Naruto nodded his head to their song, then they began to sing higher...

and higher...

until...

**BAM!!**

O.o Naruto stared at the two exploded bird's dust laying where once were.

His attention turned to their cold eggs.

Sasuke's ear twitched as he heard the sizzling sound of a saucepan an sniffed the air as he smelt cooking eggs.

"Hey guys wake up." whispered Sasuke.

Kiba woke up straight away, his stomach growled as hes smelled the eggs.

"Oh yeah baby...that's just how I like it...oh yeah!" Akamaru mumbled in his sleep.

Kiba sweatdropped as he nudged Akamaru hard.

"OW!!"

"Morning guys!" smiled Naruto turning the eggs. "Hope I made them the way you like it,"

"Good morning Princess!" barked Akamaru gobbling down the eggs.

"What's this then?" asked Sasuke raising an eyebrow.

"To make up, we got on the wrong foot yesterday. You did rescue me afterall," smiled Naruto eating his eggs.

Sasuke sniffed his eggs and ate a small piece.

"You're not a bad cook Dobe,"

"I'll take that as a compliement," blushed Naruto.

_'He's so beautiful when he blushes,' _thought Sasuke.

**

* * *

**

AUTHOR NOTES: I hope you enjoyed this chapter

**Stay tuned till next time!**


End file.
